Monday, October 3, 2011

Bumps are even bigger

Every relationship has bumps, but it seems in this kinda of relationship they are bigger and they last longer. Mostly b/c in most cases you can't communicate in real time, we get 20 minutes on the phone every week or so, when you get into a good conversation the annoying little man comes on the phone and tells you you only have 60 seconds left, often cutting you off in the middle of something important. Visits are great but in my case I get them once a month and I have lily with me and sometimes , like the last visit where I really wanted to discuss some things especially how I had been feeling lately...she just didn't cooporate so instead of fighting with her I just left, about 2 hours after I got there and felt like I wasted the visit. And some places do have email or JPay option, we don't, so we have to rely on snail mail. So a discussion that would normally be over within a few minutes, tends to last over a week.

Which is exhausting, he said he wanted me to be honest with him about what I was feeling b/c we are close enough that we can tell when something is wrong, but I have a problem with being blunt, so I told him I was tired of it all...Not meaning being married or being married to him...Just the whole prison thing, and feeling like I'm married to an invisible man. Sometimes and I know compared to some that we dont have long, but sometimes it seems like forever.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I feel like this every day. It's been 8 years now and even though he comes home in a few months, sometimes it feels like we've grown farther apart. This past year I've just gotten so fed up with being a prison wife and he tells me, why now we're so close.. but I can't help how I feel. I'm praying everything will be better once he comes home.