Thursday, March 25, 2010

Hello Free world (#4)

Hello free world

The topic for this post is going to be relationships in prison. I’m going to talk about things that I’ve seen in lock up thru my life, not just this bid. I don’t consider myself judgmental because I’ve been judged in the past. I will say I don’t understand a lot about prison relationships because of two simple facts, I’m not gay and I’ve not been a victim of assault. (He also talks about inmates and co hookups later in the post_). I do know the basic dynamics so we’ll start there. A big percentage of sexual relationships happen because a guy is turned out. Getting turned out is a term used to describe someone who prior to prison would never had a sex with a guy, the only way I can describe it is being tricked into it. For those (like me) that thinks it sounds ridiculous think a bout a girl loosing her virginity for some women yeah its because of love for others its because they were drunk or the constant pressure from a boyfriend or maybe he threatens to break up with her. (Personally I still disagree as long as the person is “of age” they know what they are doing) There are guys in prison that have been around a while that turn guys out almost like it is a game, there are the guys that have motives behind all they do, at first it seems like they are just being nice to you buts its pretty much a game of seduction, if it works it works if not they move on that. This works on men that are not street smart and are naïve or easily influenced. In essence they are willing participants. Next there is debt sex a man does favors for you usually when you first get somewhere for example you don’t have any food, stamps, ect so he “loans” you some stuff but tells you not to worry about it, he takes you under his wing shows you who not to mess with ect a little time goes by an d the ask you for a blow job if you refuse he brings up all the thinks he’s done for you and maybe even tells you he’s been protecting you from some other people. (This reminders of the schillinger/beecher relationship in OZ, atleast that part) You do it or you are on your own. Once he gets you the first time though, then he’s got you b/c now he has even more leverage on you. This works on guys that are scared and weak and believe that they can’t make it on their own. In the free world an example of this would be a boss demanding sex or firing you. There are guys that get force ably raped, as on the street this has nothing to do with sex, but power and humiliation. This happens less than some think but more than some want to admit. Now aside from all that. Now there are guys that are openly gay and in relationships with each other’s, and their guys that sell sexual favors for drugs money. (Prison whores?) I have seen the guys that are “gay for the stay” as my wife puts it, they are married or in a relationship but mess with guys while locked up and they don’t consider it cheating (I do) b/c it is with someone of the same sex. I don’t understand that because to me cheating is cheating. Yeah I really miss sex but I can’t picture missing it enough to have sex with another guy. I love my wife and am faithful to her not because there are no women around but because she is my world. For those of you that worry about your husband being faithful in prison what makes you think you will trust him anymore when he gets out? One other thing I’ll talk about is co/inmate nurse/inmate ect type relationship yeah it happens (one of his cellies wife is actually married to an ex-commissary chick) There are some females that will have sex with you for a price and yes some co’s will fall for smooth talking inmates. Think about a female that worked in a place where they turn heads wherever they go (yeah I face that, my husband sees guys all day I do expect him to look when some chick goes by he is human) if they bend over you better believe that someone is looking (lol) and for some of the

Female guards it is the first time they have ever felt sexy or desired and some guys will play up to a co to see how far he can get and sometimes the guard responds. Again if you are worried about your man cheating on while he is locked up how are you going to trust him when he gets out and its a lot more than 1 female to 100 guys? My wife talks on a couple e of websites for inmate’s families and she said that this is a common topic so I thought I’d talk about that. The key to avoiding this stuff is don’t accept factors, be independent, don’t get in any type of debt, and watch your back. Bye for now

Hope you guys find this helpful and maybe it will take a load of someones mind about the relationship on the inside. Sorry I've not put anything up in a while, I've been super busy with school, work and the kids

No comments: