Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Two years ago today.

My world crashed down around me. I was hoping to atleast get a letter or something, to pick me up a bit, but oh well the mail is horribly slow coming out.

In one way it doesn't seem like it was that along ago, with the kids and all time has flown for me. But when I think of all he has missed it seems like he has been gone forever.

Things have changed quite a bit in the past two years, in town they shut down the two smaller theaters and opened one mulitplex. They did the same with the chinese places and compbined them into a huge buffett place...Theres tons of little shops built in the walmart shopping center but thanks to the recession nothing is filled up. Theres already been alot of new tech toys come out, he says he'll feel like a cave man when he finally does get out.

Our oldest daughter has had two birthdays, going from 9 years old to 11, entered into middle school and had her first school dance.Our baby was born, a little over a month after he went in, so he has missed all her first, she is almost two now and runs aroudn the house like a crazy toddler. She knows her daddy though I have some pics of them together (we had a nice judge and he let J hold her a few times and I took pics) and she says "daddy and me".

As for me, theres been some change as well in two years I went from 200 pounds to 135 back up to 175 (and I'm on a diet again). I started back to school. Eventually I awnt to get a masters in pysch. but right now I'm working on my BA in counseling and human services. I bought a new car moved to another apartment. And went back to work.

We've passed our first and second anniversary with him locked up and are approaching our third.

LIke I said it has flown...

There are times though that I still excpet to see him playing video games when I get home from work, or hear him make a comment when I'm watching a crazy-stupid scifi movie. Even sometimes when I'm asleep I feelhis arms around me and wake up only to realize that he is gone and its going to be a long time till he comes back.

I remember that night like it was yesterday, and the bad days it seems like it just happened.

Sometimes its so hard to wrap my head around the fact a complete 2 years has passed.

If it wasn't for pictures, and of course lily it would seem like our time together had been a dream it has seemed so slow at times.

Like I said its been slow.