only 3 more to go

Thanksgivings that is, till he is home. He is already getting impatient, I can only imagine what that last year is going to be like for us. Holiday's apart are very rough, but my girls keep going and focused on whats important. We've already got most the christmas stuff up. Sometimes I can't tell if it is getting easier or harder, all I know is it is what it is.

I know I don't update often, but I am really busy with other things and especially right now getting ready for christmas. I finally started seeing someone about the stress I've been under, not sure if it will help or not, its not like I can give up anything lol, I don't drink or do drugs, I just well eat way to much..That is something to work on.

As always I'll try to update more or try to get him to give a post. Happy belated thanksgiving everyone, I'm very thankful for all those that continue to read my blog :)

I suck

Many many many apologies for the long time in between post...I keep meaning to update and do all the things I promised at the beginning of the year..but I only have so many hours in the day. Things with me and Jody are still great, he is my true soul mate, we still all the time, Lily is still wild on visits, but I"m hoping for my birthday next month to get one alone. Just to have I'd love to say alone time but as alone as you can get with 50+ plus in the same room. We are at the 3 1/2 year mark and I get excited just thinking about it and thinking about how far we have come.

I'm trying, yes again to lose weight, doing a 90 day challenge with my PWGP girls :). 14 pounds in 30 days, still have a way to go but I"m getting there. Just exercising and cutting back on junk food and drinking water lots of water.

Found a couple more sites online that I can make money and gift cards (some even gas cards) from so I"ll be posting those later.

Jody finished up another semester of college, with all A's again and is still working in the kitchen. So things for him are going as well as can be.

School is almost out for the summer and hopefully I can get a few minutes freed up to update more often.

53 Visits to go

Till I can bring him home again. We had wonderful visit yesterday, even with the new computer systems. It took a bit longer than normal to check in, b/c they had to rerun the background checks. And make copies our ID's again (and lilys birth certificate). This is a statewide thing, so if you haven't visited since the 5/16. Make sure you are prepared for this anyone under 18 has to have their birth certificate with them, and if they aren't your children, another permission slip will need to be filled out, or you'll get turned away. This is for VA. We stayed from 8:45 till 1:30. Lily was pretty well behaved, and they actually had the air conditioner going, last year it was miserable in the visiting room by 10 it was in the 90's. Not so this time. And the fact they finally got some kid type games, helps tremendously.

We got to talk some about some more serious things. Not our relationship. On that front things are still wonderful. Every time I see him I fall more in love with him. Seeing his face hearing his voice touching his hand, all reinforce the fact that this wait is worth it for me. Easy? NO but definitely worth it. He is more than just my husband, and our vows were more than just words spoken. He is my best friend, my rock, and my soulmate. This sentence is just a bump in our road, and will only make us stronger.

He is hoping to get a visit from his mom next month, he did ask that I find out when she is coming and for me to come on a different day. That would bother some people. But visiting with lily is distracting. And this is his mother, and her first visit with her son in over 3 years, so I will step aside. I get every other weekend off so I'm more than able to make my visits a different day.

I do wish that they would start doing pics again. I liked seeing how we changed month to month especially Lily. It bothers me that this is what she is growing up knowing, prison and her daddy being in time out. But their bond is amazing, she is definitely a daddys little girl. And in his mind there is nothing like her either. She is the baby of the family but the absolute apple of his eye. I try not to think on the what ifs or if he was home how it would be...but I know if he was home she would be even more spoiled.

The CO's were awesome yesterday, gotta love it when you get an understanding shift, meaning lily could play in the floor beside our table. That and the fact, every other table was full of kids helped. Alot of people complain about kids in the visiting rooms, but they either don't have kids or just no patience. Yes I'm sorry if my daughters squeals or cries or her getting games annoy you..but seriously our family needs time together as much as yours does, tune them out.

Getting ready for his birthday visit

Not that we can do anything to special for it, but his birthday is saturday so I figured it would be a nice surprise for him to visit then. I hope they do pictures this time, last visit they didn't do them b/c apparently the gangs are growing there and they have to specially train someone to look for people flashing signs in the pics...Annoying, but such is life I suppose.

I am very happy with the shirt I ordered. I'll put a pic up of it this weekend. But its navy blue with bubble letters that says doing time together. He adores my I love my convict shirt, but I wanted a change. 

I really hope Lily does good and we can make it till at least 12, I'm expecting it to be crowded, since it is mothers day weekend as well. I really do wish they would have a small area set up for children. Its something all prisons should have, I know not everyone agrees with children being taken to prison. But our Lily loves her daddy and loves seeing him, it is just hard on her to sit still for more than a few minutes much less hours. And he loves her, personally I think she is his favorite child, how horrible is that (haha) its because they are so much alike though, in looks and attitude.

This month made the halfway mark for us...so its all down hill from here.

1899 days left

So today we have killed off another 100 days. I know that I haven't updated in a while. But like I said in my other post there isn't much going on. I went and saw again a few weeks ago...it was another rough visit, the baby is so hyper. He told me one  of the CO's said that the visit with kids used to be better before the new warden took over and they had a small play room with toys so the kids could play. Now thats what I'm talking about. Seriously I would let them strip search me, if I could have a peaceful visit. I wonder why they stopped them and how I could go about suggesting that they bring them back. To me having a separate room for the kids would make everyone's visit easier and more enjoyable...After all I read so many complaints about people with kids at visit...While I do feel bad if my child ruins your visit its not like I"m able to punish her at visit (there is a huge sign that says if you are caught even smacking your childs hand you will have your visits terminated and cops called yeah stupid).

So I figured I would use the post to mention that for VA prison you are now able to most inmates send winter packages. Heres the link. Most the stuff is alittle pricey but alot of it they can't get at the "store". I'm having a time ordering J's b/c he is showing up ineligible so I have to wait for him to get my letter or call first to find out what is going on.

Two years ago today.

My world crashed down around me. I was hoping to atleast get a letter or something, to pick me up a bit, but oh well the mail is horribly slow coming out.

In one way it doesn't seem like it was that along ago, with the kids and all time has flown for me. But when I think of all he has missed it seems like he has been gone forever.

Things have changed quite a bit in the past two years, in town they shut down the two smaller theaters and opened one mulitplex. They did the same with the chinese places and compbined them into a huge buffett place...Theres tons of little shops built in the walmart shopping center but thanks to the recession nothing is filled up. Theres already been alot of new tech toys come out, he says he'll feel like a cave man when he finally does get out.

Our oldest daughter has had two birthdays, going from 9 years old to 11, entered into middle school and had her first school dance.Our baby was born, a little over a month after he went in, so he has missed all her first, she is almost two now and runs aroudn the house like a crazy toddler. She knows her daddy though I have some pics of them together (we had a nice judge and he let J hold her a few times and I took pics) and she says "daddy and me".

As for me, theres been some change as well in two years I went from 200 pounds to 135 back up to 175 (and I'm on a diet again). I started back to school. Eventually I awnt to get a masters in pysch. but right now I'm working on my BA in counseling and human services. I bought a new car moved to another apartment. And went back to work.

We've passed our first and second anniversary with him locked up and are approaching our third.

LIke I said it has flown...

There are times though that I still excpet to see him playing video games when I get home from work, or hear him make a comment when I'm watching a crazy-stupid scifi movie. Even sometimes when I'm asleep I feelhis arms around me and wake up only to realize that he is gone and its going to be a long time till he comes back.

I remember that night like it was yesterday, and the bad days it seems like it just happened.

Sometimes its so hard to wrap my head around the fact a complete 2 years has passed.

If it wasn't for pictures, and of course lily it would seem like our time together had been a dream it has seemed so slow at times.

Like I said its been slow.